YOU ARE HERE FOR A REASON

I created a monster I came to fall in love with. And to not tell him is what hurts... Sitting next to him looking at how beautiful he looks when he sleeps, like a little child- innocent. It breaks my heart to know that I am unable to tell him, fearing the loss of friendship. It aches and I want to rub his hair and hold his hand, to kiss him on his cheek 'cause he looks so adorable. There is nothing I can do but look at how beautiful he is and wish that he'd hold me tight every night and show me the world is not such a bad place. He has already shown me there is more to the world, made me begin to think maybe the world ain't so bad. He knows my secrets and has accepted me for being me. He doesn't treat me differently after knowing my dark side, and I really thank him for that. He respects my privacy and I am thankful for that, but I constantly feel like I must be transparent towards him.. I want him to know me completely, sins and all. The thought of being this cl

HEY! SO this is a small note to let you know most of the writings on this blog of mine are what I have written, my writings (except for a few quotes) and I promise if I ever take someone else's writings or made a collab with someone in my writings then I shall 100% give them credit. It would also be very nice if you dont use my writings anywhere else, atleast without giving me credit(IN SHORT DONT GO PUBLISH AND CLAIM ITS YOUR OWN CAUSE * insert the actor from taken's voice here* "I WILL FIND YOU AND KILL YOU", nah joking, but please dont) Anyway thanks Keep Smiling :D

HEY! FULL YET SO EMPTY Even with all the organs within me , I just feel EMPTY. I don't just feel, I feel, too deeply. I'm numb , hollow, emotionless. I have a hundred emotions running in my head and I don't know which to show. I feel hurt, betrayed,lost, sad but mostly I feel empty. As though something or someone has been taken away from me, and their presence is now just being filled with air. They are not there how much ever they try convincing me . They might be right next to me, yet they don't mean anything. They are just a somebody, a somebody I used to know. And that empty space is not only next to me but also in me, that part of me which cared for them. I think this is how the heart might feel once the bullet has left the other side. Part of it has gone. And like it, slowly my functioning stops, missing the hollow empty part of me, wondering how did I get hit. And it bleeds, I want to cry, but it bleeds with no one to see while I can't cry cause the

HEY! Dear diary, I never wanted to be needy but at the same time I needed him. It's not like I would die without him,but I couldn't live without him either. He made me happy,made me smile.the one thing I thought I had forgotten. Keep smiling :D

HEY Have you ever felt your heart shatter?  I mean on the lines of you asking someone out they say no and the next thing you know they are going out with your friends. Not a good friend but still. And they act all in love right in front of you and that's when you get to know they are together. You were already jealous in the first place that she stood a better chance than you, and when the chance turned into the truth- it hurts. It is neither of their fault. Love is natural yet you tend to hate the person who changed it, both of them. The person who stole your crush from you and your crush for choosing her over you. How much ever you deny it, it is the truth, the fact.  And that moment everything you wished for just crumbles. Maybe you thought your crush on that person was fading, but the moment you saw them hug you just are hit with this pang of jealousy, you wish it were you instead of them. You fantasize. Keep smiling :D

*_I am not an object and sure as hell won't stand being treated as one_* Hurt, betrayed or lost? What am I to people? To be shrunken by society to my very body shape and size? To be deemed good or bad based on looks?  To be hired on how short my skirt is rather than my intellect? Am I a mere object? A toy? It seems as though I am put into a game, a competition I never signed up for. I'm running someone else's  race in their shoes. I've been taught not to judge a person unless you have walked in their shoes. Well, let me tell the world that we are all wearing the same shoes. Same size, shape and colour and all of us are facing the same problem- norms of the society. Honestly tell me, If I'm skinny and pretty why am I hot? Am I an object that heats up stuff? but on the other hand, if I'm fat I'm ugly. No, I can be Fat and pretty too. Plus not everything is based on looks. Well, some of the sweetest people I have met are the ones I judged on character, no

HEY! You decide where to go, you are your own faith , despair and hope. You are the only one who locks your self and the only one who can set you free. you must have heard this before: "Your mind is the garden   Your thoughts are the seeds  You can grow flowers   Or you can grow weeds" Maybe I have even published it before. IF you understand the meaning behind this you will understand that it is your mindset that can change things.  You are being a prisoner of society, of your parents, your friends and you are letting your mind rule over you. You must tell your self that you are the boss. Listen to your heart but at the same time don't forget to think logically! Keep Smiling :D

HEY! Look at it this way its already September and you have come so far. Live up to see a new year, live to see your loved ones smile, to find love. To help those who feel similar to you so that you guys can get through it together.  Live for the adventure, the journey, the thrill. But most important- live for yourself. Keep Smiling :D

Where did my childhood go? Where did my innocence go? Is this the world to live in fear? Where did humanity go? Today I fear to walk Though as a kid I was taught to run, ‘Cause today if I walk alone I might come home with a daughter or a son. The fear of being raped The fear of abuse This is not what I asked for This is not what I choose My decent dressing Is not decent enough It’s a cat call to people Who think assault makes them tough I live in a world Where every girl lives in fear They push away anyone Anyone who tries to come near My previous generation learned the “bad touch” When they were in college Today even a second grader Requires this important knowledge Our world constantly promises Promises manners, behavior and chivalry Alas they don’t know the meaning of a promise A promise is an assurance of delivery The only delivery I know of today Is the one of childbirth, To those innocent victims of rap

When did this happen? Computer games don’t interest Life seems too much No time to rest Books take me to lands Which I adore But time to read I have no more “Studies give you everything” My parents always say I worry about studies Even when I have break When marks are low And there is no scope When my face is covered with Tears of lost hope Thoughts occur to me Haunts me day out Don’t want to keep inside me I want to shout it out I am waiting for better days When the sun rises for me When I look back at the struggling days The days that set me free The days of lost hope In Which I remained strong The days of sorrow Long have they gone When did this happen? I became so optimistic To conquer a dream To make it realistic To forget the sorrow To live for gold To be old and wise Be young and bold                             -Kamya Ashok                         14/9/2014

Was it meant to be for us to be left for each other, want to turn around but don't turn to look at one another. Too scared to be hurt again, too scared to stand, Can't believe it would end like this just escaped your hands. Don't want to fall in them again, too scared to see that shadowed face, not a trace of shame painted on it life is no easy race. Scared for eternity, scarred for life, did you even think about the number of times I have picked that knife? Not once did you think ever about me, was this really how it was meant to be? Can'tbelieve I trusted you, how could I have been such a fool? To believe you and I were one? To believe happily ever after is true? Flowers which are on my way wither colour turns grey. For today I realise beauty is best, whats true isn't really true. Happiness should be given to everyone, everyone except you. I thought I could escape this, this nightmarish thought. You think you left it far behind,

          What is kindness? It is a bandage to heal the hurt. No further explanation required, You don’t need an expert. Forgive your brothers For the mistakes they have done. Live with similarities Differences you must shun. Offer food To everyone in need. Offer clothes to orphanages, Don’t be overcome by greed. I am not asking you to give money Help them is all I ask It doesn’t have to be a big thing It can be a small task For the smile they give Money can't buy Show some kindness Save ones cry

Did you ever pick that knife And bring it to your hand With hope for it making you feel better Or taking you to a better land But still fought these urges Keeping yourself strong Saying this pain is temporary It won’t last long You say your life’s a mess and This is not what it’s supposed to be This is not what I expected This is not me Looking at all the skinny girls Just laughing amongst themselves and a tear rolls down your cheek While you hide behind the bookshelf To hate your self To hide your sorrow Trying to convince yourself There will be a better tomorrow You portray yourself strong Not a care for a thing But you know it for a fact Deep inside you’re bleeding You must know You have an enemy inside Who is trying to hurt And tell you nothing's all right But trust me when I say This day shall come When you fight against yourself And this enemy shall be done We are all in the same game Just

 I Have had a sudden crazy for just writing, to express how I feel and more. I hope you like it. And as usual, I shall put poems which  I have written and yes will continue with pictures and writings... Sorry for not writing for a long time. Thanks for your attention! I hope I am helping you guys... KEEP SMILING :D

Little do you know you are the reason behind my tear. You are the reason I am sitting here in the corner Crying all to my self, bleeding deep within. It just bounces off you like it's not a big deal but on my side of the garden all the flowers just whithered You think you are comforting me but your mere presence is bringing me down and tearing me apart. When you knew you couldn't be mine then why didn't you stop me? You told me never to make anyone my reason for living Yet I ignored you, thinking you were different But I learnt that all of you are the same And it makes me sick to know my heart was with you. You told me you can't love anyone anymore. What made you think so?? You made me feel special Like I was worth something But then all of a sudden it's just BAM. You dropped the boulder It fell from a height Real fast and I was unable to get away in time And now I am fifty feet underground Only a thin stand of light

She escaped reality And lived in fantasy Cause fantasy was magic and Real life was tragic Every time She closed her eyes It was like a dark paradise The monsters didn't sleep Under her bed But they landed up staying Inside her head Sorry I just needed to post this, though they aren't mine. Anyway, KEEP SMILING :D and sorry for posting late

Many people think other people cut to get attention, they think it is cool. Well, there are people who do that no doubt, but then there are the people who try to hide the scars. Why do people cut ? There are multiple reasons: it pains more than your misery hence numbing the pain, basically acting like an anesthesia. The other reason people cut is in hopes of dying , to end the pain and misery . And last is to blind them, make them feel that there are pains worse than what they are going through. Numbing their soul...cutting is a cheap anesthesia. You can get it for free , has the same effect and it also is a reminder of the pain and misery and what you have been through long after the pain has gone.Kind of like a medal you can say. But little do people realise they are risking their life and it can result in pain to the loved ones. There is someone out there who you have seen maybe once but that person you are the north star on a cloudy night.Pain blinds them , makes them forget the

Hey! If you don't make mistakes you are not human... Even perfect to the world people make mistake. And beating yourself over your mistakes? If there were no mistakes, then there would be nothing to learn from. Move ahead and push problems away from you. Ignore them.They just teach you what is wrong.. Learn from them and don't repeat.. strive for your goal. Keep smiling :D Kamya Ashok